TGI .... Thursday?

Today was one of my better days, NO CLASSES!! yeahh tuesdays and thursdays i dont have class and i have alll my classes Monday, Wednsday and Fridays so it was a good day. I had to work todayy but that was alright. My mood was the best it has been in a while. I think I do my best when I am busy, thats why i think i always do best when i'm at work. Hopefully tomorrow won't be too bad its a hectic day classwise with Psych, Philosophy, Bio, then Bio lab wooo thats a doozy. Anyway onto the good stuffff FOOD!

Breakfast: All bran with a sliced nanner, Strawberry Stonyfield with sliced almonds, Soymilk and sliced strawberriesss

Snack: Choco Chip Clif Bar and Apple sauce

Lunch:PB&J, Sliced Anjou, and salad with balsamic vinigaretteee, and Soy milkk



Snack Dos: Pecan Pie Larabar and Honeycrisp

Dinner:Grilled Salmon, Baked Sweet Potato and Green Beanersss


Wellll Goodnightt All!

Ex's and Oh's ...

So today i once again left for the trek to school in tears, i dont know what it is. I have always loved school but this place is like a dungeon, it's so lonely and i don't know like anyyyone as a commuter and i just feel so far from USC. wellll anyway on the way driving in my hysterics and being distracted i bumpedd a car from behind!!!!!!! ooooopssss i have NEVER gotten into an accident buttt her car was absolutely undamaged and so was minee so that was the start of the day booooooo. bad way to get it started.Then afterr psych and philosophy i went to see the psychiatrist whomm i like BUT she mentioned my weight gain and although she was like "it's so good you are at a higher weight than the last time you left treatment," i took it as omggg now you're fatterrr grosssss! soo needless to sayy i cried and cried and cried and went home and cried some more. I almost listened to the Ed voice and refused lunch BUT then a litttle beep beep beep beep beep (haha like the song) came from my phone and it was my ex boyfriend. While the word "ex"sounds bad we dated for a while in highschool on and off on and off on and off but we have always remained BEST friends like i absolutely tell him everything andd he knew i was having a bad day being body conscious and he said

"when i first met you and when we dated (I was healthy) you had the best body ever and i know its hard for you to see that again but you looked amazingg then and once you realize that you'll feel a lot better. I know its tough but your strong and you can do it, i promise you, will be alot happier."

Now background on him he is SUCH a boy he has four brothers and sometimes he's not so in touch with his emotions so his encouragement jumpstarted me right back on track and even made me tear up.(happy tears this time) We have this relationship where we live far away from eachother now with college but we kinda feel like we will end up with eachother and sooo at the end of our text messages he said "you know one day it will happen with us." That really melted my heart as cheeseyy as it sounds i dont know about the rest of you ladies with Ed but i have some SERIOUS intimacy issues and he leapt over my intimacy boundary and really got to me, he was also plastered able to put a smile on my face for the rest of the day...ohhh boyss boyss boyss

Tuesday Continued

Today has been nice and kind of relaxing. Tuesdays and Thursdays i dont have classes but I always work instead, but today i got the day off. yahoo! I got a lot of stuff done like re-admitting to USC (Woop Woop), getting my charm bracelet fixeddd and getting a new charm (A shamrock for recoveryy), and i FINALLYY got to the bank to deposittt some dollahhh dollahh bills hahaaa. But tomorrow its back to school and honestly every morning before i leave i literally cry because i hate it SO much. its a 1/2 hour commute with tons of traffic, i hate my classes and the teachers see completely uninterested in the material they are teaching and on top of it all i miss my friends like CRAZY! I feel lonely doing this schoool commute and work and the Ed voice gets just a bit louder than i'd like it tooo, but i'm trying my hardest. I finallyyy finallyy meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow onlyy like a month and a half late afterr leaving resiii lol...hopefully we can kick start some meds to help beat down dear old mr. Ed. I just need to start finding things that make me happy and Ed. I workout all the time because it's what Ed wants but somehow i need to find what it is that makes me happy, oh well life is a journey and i guess im along for the ride. good night bloggettes, i hope you havee a great night!<3

Lunch: grilled swiss cheeeserrr with tomatoes and a salad with newmans own garlic balsamic and some soy milkayy

PM Snackker: Cottage Cheese, Special K crackers, and a honeycrisppp


Dinner: Mamaaa's famous roasted tomato pork chop with greenbeans and roasted potatoes.YUMM-O!

peaceeee out

Pikchaaa Time

Breakkkyy: The Usuallll All Bran with a sliced nanner
Stonyfield Blueberry Yogieee with sliced
Almonds, juicyy anjou and ice cold Soy Milk

Snacksterr: Banana, Almond Buttahhh and

A Health Valley Blueberrrryy Bar

A bunch of the Kappa Kappa Gamma lovelies!

Me and Mark pre-KKG function :)



KKG girlsss at Tacky X-Mas Sweater Party! (ooohh is that a beer??)




Me and Madd before football game (GOOO Gamecocks!)


Me and my KKG loveliesss!

Well Jenny inspired me to take a look at my past pics to give myself a little dose of motivation. I'm mostly looking at pics from USC and memories with my friends and sorority sisters. While I was mid-eating disorder in these pictures it shows me what state of health I was in and how I don't EVER want to go back to that; but most of all these pics show the really good times i had at school and how I need to remain on the track of recovery and getting healthy so that i can go back to South Carolina and realllyyyy realllyy live life to the fullesttt and have somee fun (what a smack in the face to Ed). YAY! enjoyyy the walk down memory lane!! :)

Monday Madness

Soooo sorry I haven't kept up with the postdizzzzles but I have been swamped with work and school. To be honest I have been feeling really blahh lately. I have been following my meal plan but my mood has just been really, i dont have words to describe it, just blahh. I feel like there is nothing exciting going on and i feel like i am just at a standstill. I HATE HATE HATE school, i miss USC SOSOSO much and i feel obsessive over exercising lately. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that since leaving residential i have been off my meds b/c my psychiatrist doesnt have an appointment until March...BUT on a positive note i got a call today that there is a cancellation monday morning so i am finally going and i have an excuse to skip philosophy YAY! I feel like this week being NEDAW weeek and all i need to start challenging myself with new foods and recipes...any suggestions? I need to spice up my dull life..oh yeah and if someone just happens to know a nice tall dark and handsome boy to send me that would be cool toooo. haaa jk but as a sidenote my ex boyfriend (who is really caring and understanding) keeps texting me and he is coming home next weekend but it SO weird because he has a g/f and it makes me feel really gross that im being treated like the other girl so i have NO intention of seeing him. GIRL POWERRRR had to throw a little spice girl throwback in there. But anywayy the exciting part of my week was seeing some old friends who came into my work tonight that was cute so the end of my long daunting work night was happy...anyway onto the good stuff .... the FOOOOD! i'm a space cadet and forgot to charge the camera so im gunna google some delicious pics so that ya'lllll get the idea of the deliciousness i consumed today.

Breakfast: The usualll ALL BRAN (shout out to Lexi) w/ banannnnner, o'soy yogurt, soy milk, and a lucious anjouuu YUMMMY ohh and obvi a HUGE cup of JAVA

Snackstar: wheat thins, swiss cheesummss and apple sauce

Lunch: Good ol' fashion PB&J with honeyycrisp slices and soy milk...

Snackyy 2: Clif Z bar (choco chippp) and an orange

Dinner: Turkeyy, baked taterrr with lowfat Sourcream and zucchini

Dessert: cinnamon raisin english muffin with peanut butter with a nannner

off to watch a little Wife Swap (my guiltyy pleasure) and then catching some zZzZZZzzZ's goonight blogging beauties! <3

Superrr Sunday

Ohhh Sundays..usually they are a little depressing because I know I have to go to classes tomorrow at a school that I HATEEE, but today has been relaxing so its all good. Last night was depressing because it was one of my good friends 21st birthday down at USC and all my friends went out drinking and partying and I obviously wasn't there. I have to admit last night was a challenge to follow my meal plan because of how sad I got at the thought of missing out on another monumental night. BUT anywayy i got to thinking that on the positive I was home getting healthy so I can return to USC and be with all my sorority sisters and bestiessss. SO to stop my negative thoughts I ran on the treadmill and had a yummy dinnerrr. Onto today's foodie business. Breakfast was by candlelight..oh how romantic. It was Blueberry Stonyfielddd, All Bran and Bananaaaa and a Pear. Also a yumm-ooo cup of coffee with french vanilla creamer.

Workout Today

45 Minute Jog on the Treadmill

50 Crunches

12 Squat Reps

Have a good Sundayyy ya'll i'm off to get ready for a dinner date with my bfffffl

Hellooo Bloggers!

So this is my first post. I have been wanting to make one of these for a LONG time, and now I have been inpired by Pam and Lexi to take the time out to make one. I guess I hope that this will help me remain accountable for my meal plan and give me a supportive outlet to express how I am feeling. I have been doing okay lately, trucking along following my meal plan but just feeling okay, nothing incredible. I have been going to school close by which to me has been totally unfulfilling. I miss all my friends at USC terribly and the fact that my parents made me stay home this semester has caused me to resent them SO much, which consequently makes me feel guilty because they are only trying to do what is best for me. Work has been less than stellar also. I waitress because it was the only fast paced job I could think of that would take my mind off missing school and my friends. The other waitstaff is really nice but when things get busy and everyone has short tempers and they have no idea how sensative I am and lately I have been taking things a little too personally. I need to just learn to be a little more self assured and confident and not let the little things get under my skin. I don't know if any of you with eating disorders often question yourselves when you are clearly doing nothing wrong, but I think it is one of the most annoying things about ED, I totally second guess myself when I should just chill and realize that I am doing FINE! Anyways on with the fooooood! (I will post pics my next post)

Breakyyyy: All Bran, Soy Milkyyy, Blueberry Stonyfield, and a juiceyyyy PEAR (so crunchyy and delicious)

Snacksterrr: Kashi Dark Chocolate Cherry Bar, 1/2 Cup of LowFat Pineapple Cottage Cheese with a Tbsp. of Strawberry Preserves...delishhh

Lunch: Almond Butter and Red Raspberry Jelly Sandwich with a yummy Garden Salad with Newmans Own Garlic Balsamic Vinigarette Dressing and a Sliced Honeycrisperr Appleee

Snackyy 2: Wheat thins and Roasted Red Pepper Hummus and Carrot Sticks

Dinnerrrr: Tofu Stir fry with Baby Corn, Water Chestnuts, Bell Peppers, Zucchini and Mushrooms with Brown Riceee


Have a greattt Sat. Night I worked all day so i'm catching some zZzZzzZ's earlyy!